Have you been sabotaging your own happiness? Have you been following miserable people’s footsteps? Have your subconscious thoughts been making you run in circles? Guaranteed, you won’t reach your dream life if you keep that up. You must avoid these 10 success killers so you can create your optimal life.
1. Neglecting to Create Your Personalized Definition of Success
How will you know if you’ve reached success, when you aren’t sure of what that entails? Stop and think before you answer. Make sure this is YOU and YOU ALONE that is defining a successful life, not what your parents have told you.
What makes YOU happy? What would your ideal future home be like? Does it have to be a mansion? Do you have to have kids? Or is your dream job going to require lots of travel? Do you want to have a boss? Or be your own master? What is your ideal annual income?
There are many aspects to tinker with when it comes to envisioning your ideal life. Make your definition of success extremely clear. This will help you make the right choices for future decisions. You always have the choice to live YOUR life however you want… just as long as you don’t hurt anyone of course.
If you don’t take the time to figure out what success means for you then you won’t know what you are supposed to be striving for each day to reach your goals.
Which brings me to …
2. Not writing out the steps you need to take, to turn your thoughts into reality.
Berkeley.edu shared some tips for setting effective goals:
- Express your goals positively, rather than framing them in terms of what you don’t want.
- Be precise in setting dates, times, and amounts so that you know when you have achieved your goals.
- Set priorities so that you know which of your goals to focus your attention toward and helps you avoid feeling overwhelmed by having too many goals.
- Write your goals down so that you can visually be reminded of them and so that you can craft them to be precise and clear.
- Break down your goals into small, achievable tasks so that you get frequent opportunities to accomplish them and feel motivated to take on other goals.
- Set realistic goals that you can achieve and that are in your own control.”
3. Telling Yourself That Money is Evil
Many of us grew up in some sort of religion that preaches the evil of money because a poor person is much easier to control than a wealthy one.
Money is not “evil”. A US dollar is just 75% cotton and 25% linen. It has no ability to be evil.
If you believe this nonsense about money being “bad” then your subconscious (which makes 60% to 80% of your decisions) will not allow you to become successful. You don’t have to choose to do something only because it will make you a lot of money. Choose a job that you enjoy and that pays your bills.
“Don’t worry about what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman
4. Being Stuck in Your Comfort Zone
Our subconscious mind can be quite the sneaky bitch sometimes. It will hold you back from your dreams by making you do the same things every day. You are going to have to step out from the deceptive comfort zone.
This zone feels like it’s nice and cozy. Nothing too horrible ever happens there so it must be safe. Wrong. The comfort zone will have you waste away years of your life and will deplete your happiness.
People stay in this rut of “comfort” because they don’t feel confident that they can achieve their dreams. The confidence you have in yourself will make or break your path to success.
As you keep leaving your comfort zone your confidence will grow.
You will be proving to yourself that you can do it. Your subconscious can’t deny what you’ve proven you can do. Accomplishment happens outside your comfort zone.
5. You Haven’t Looked for Your Life’s Passion
Maybe every day you are busting your ass for some ungrateful boss. You don’t need to live like that. You’re better than that.
No. You’ve got to spend time each day thinking about what you enjoy or enjoyed doing as a child.
What do you like to read about the most? Brainstorm out ideas on paper. Try new activities to find new passions. Learn every day.
6. Not having the Motivation/Time to Do What Needs To Be Done
Everyone’s favorite excuse, “I just don’t have the time.” This equates to you not having the motivation to really try to reach your goals.
This is why envisioning your ideal life is so important. Why would you want to do all this work when you can’t see the outcome?
This might feel like you are being mean to yourself but you must force yourself to do what you need to do. No excuses! Crack the (metaphorical) whip on yourself! Don’t stop until you’ve accomplished your goal for the day!
7. Not Taking Responsibility for Your Life
Yeah, it’s easier to just sit back and let life fly by. But, it’s a surefire way to create a miserable existence. If you don’t think you have the power to change your life then you certainly don’t. But every one of us has the power to change our lives for the better. EVERY ONE. THIS MEANS YOU!
So, why aren’t people taking control back? Because it’s easier to not even try for goals and to just continue trying not to get fired every day.
That’s a scary “comfort” zone to be stuck in. Realize you can start practicing and do something amazing after work. After some time you might not even NEED that day job anymore.
8. Conforming to Your Existing Conditions and Avoiding Success
Settling for a mediocre existence is dooming yourself to misery.
If you want more out of your life then you have to go get it. It’s not going to fall into your hands – you are going to have to work for it. That is what makes success so awesome because you created it all yourself.
“Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” – John F. Kennedy
9. Not Paying Attention to Truth-tellers
Find someone who inspires you and is kind enough to share their wisdom with you. This will save you time by avoiding mistakes and steering you in the direction of your goals. Don’t assume you will figure it out on your own. You need to have someone who you can get advice from to avoid wasting time and energy.
10. Not Taking Action or Following Through
You’ve got to develop some self-discipline. Bleh! I know, that doesn’t sound fun. Well it’s not, but it is quite thrilling once you get the hang of making yourself do what you need to. You will be more confident and motivated once you make yourself do the work to get success.
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